I don’t want to live a normal life. I don’t want a big white house in the suburbs with a blue door and red shutters with a tire swing with a mini van in the driveway. No kids but I would like a wife. Someone else who views life like I do. Why does everyone want kids and to live in a big house. The so-called “perfect life”. Its just the mainstream life, I feel like half the people don’t even know what they want but just get married with kids because they believe that’s the right thing to do. They don’t even think about it, they don’t think what they want they just do with out thinking. Having kids is such a pain. After you have kids your life is basically over. Because your whole life revolves around them, you put all your time and money into that child. Just so they can grow up to hate you and want to leave as soon as they can and wait for you to die so they can have your money. If you think about it having kids is kind of selfish in a way, you wanting to make something that looks like you. Besides all that I wouldn’t want kids because this world is going to shit. Technology has destroyed us as humans. Today’s children don’t even know how to communicate with each other because computers and cell phones have made us socially retarted. The world is filled with so many stupid people. Even the smart ones are stupid because they don’t think outside the box. They never stop and think what they want, if they actually want the mainstream life or not. Don’t get me wrong there are plenty of people in the world who actually want a life like that. But I just feel like most people don’t think what they actually want they just get married with kids because its what is right and its what your supposed to do. Says who, you can decide your own life. Up until this past summer I wanted a wife and 3 kids by the time I was 28. Why? I don’t know because I was young and stupid and just thought that’s what I was supposed to do. The longer I think about it and more I grow up the more I want to challenge the status quo on the mainstream life. I feel that’s maybe the reason I want to go to California. The farthest possible place from New York on the continental united states. Besides no one here really understands me any way. The only person I can be open with and tell how I feel is Caitlin. Virtually anyone else I talk to about this just laughs because they have never heard any one talk about life. They just call me crazy or stupid. That’s why I want to leave. My family wouldn’t understand me especially because all of them are living that “mainstream life” and I honestly feel like they are to stupid to understand me, not stupid they just aren’t open-minded. The only person I would truly miss would be my sister, everyone else I really don’t care about. I really don’t know the true reason for me wanting to go there I just woke up one day I felt like I had a calling to go there. I really wish I can just get up one day and leave, maybe I will finally find what vie been searching for. That thing I feel has been absent from my life since high school ended. Since school has ended I feel an emptiness inside. Not just because I loved that school but also because I grew up so fast after school ended and I’m not a kid any more. I honestly feel like if I were to go back to cross now I wouldn’t be able to stand it just because of how much I’ve changed physically but more important mentally. I actually hate like half the kids I was friends with last year just because they are so stupid. I don’t know I’m rambling on but I just feel I keep searching for something and I can’t find it. I hope if I go across the country I will finally find what I’ve been looking for in life.
